The Da Vinci Code and its author are in the news. A lawsuit.

Frankly, I do not give damn about the lawsuit.

But I do dislike the book. Intensely.

And the book is bad. Atrociously bad. Bad. Bad. Bad.

Two dimensional clichés impersonating characters. A Distinguished American professor. An Exotic French babe. An eccentric English nobleman. All we need now is a Ninja and a cute puppy. And a spaceship. And aliens. And pirates. They would only improve the book.

(That would be a good plot…If the pirates made the professor, the babe and the nobleman walk the plank. And the aliens laid eggs in them which hatched and then the Ninja fought them! On the spaceship. While a tidal wave on Mars wiped out the alien colony.)

A wafer thin plot. The Da Vinci Stupidity. Not my off the cuff masterpiece.

And a supposedly “fast moving” story.

That’s what the author called it: “A fast moving thriller.”

It is not.

It is fast moving crap.

The Da Vinci Code is literary diarrhea.

Gah!